I know it seems odd that I’m about to ask you to be thankful over something like this, but that’s what I’m going to do. Here’s why: conversations like this have the potential to grow us as leaders in humility, grace, perseverance and wisdom. 

Sometimes I’ve spent hours, or even days mulling over a discouraging text message or email someone sent me. Because of it, I’ve even entertained thoughts of, “Why am I even in ministry? If this is how I’m treated, is this even worth it?”

As we are met with discouragement, we can choose to practice wisdom and perseverance, continuing to give thanks to the Lord for our calling in life, or give into discouragement, defeat and despair. 
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Whenever I choose to be thankful, I can freely let go of the hurt and disappointment I feel over one more discouraging message from someone within the church body. 

The Lord is immensely generous and kind in how He deals with us. With our brothers and sisters in Christ within the church however, that is not always the case, unfortunately. We have to remember, it’s not them that we’re pleasing. Sometimes that’s a hard one for me to live out, since I tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. When we center our thoughts and affections on the Lord, giving praise and thanks to Him, we are reminded once more that He is the one we serve. 

So, don’t dwell too long on that discouraging message.

Remember to give thanks and be generous in how you practice humility towards others and the Lord will reward you greatly for it as you grow as a leader.
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Not only will your leadership capacity flourish, but your relationship with Jesus will too.   

The post Giving Thanks When Your Leadership is Questioned appeared first on Ministry Architects.

My grandmother is an excellent listener. She could sit for hours listening to you talk. She says very little in response, but you know that she values what you have to say. When she does speak, you listen, because of how valued she’s made you feel. You see, my grandmother has something very important to teach us who lead others in the church. I’d like to break it down for us in three simple steps.

• Lean In
• Listen
• Learn

Many of us work with a plethora of volunteers or oversee staff. Until we grow to be good listeners who really learn how to lean in, listen and learn, we will never grow to be someone the people we are leading trust.

Trust is established when we share space with someone and we welcome them into ours. The best way to share space with someone else, is to hear their story.
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As you do this, you join not just the gifts that you both bring to the ministry, but your hearts. This is key if you want to grow and keep good leaders. 

We must learn how to follow these three simple steps, that my grandmother modeled to me if we want to grow as leaders.

Lean In

This means we must be willing to sit down and schedule time to be present with people. It could look as simple as grabbing a cup of coffee, a bite to eat or meeting at the church. If we don’t practice this step, the only time we’ll call people to talk is when there’s a problem and who looks forward to that kind of relationship with one of their leaders? Not me.  

Listen

The phone, your emails, that pressing deadline you have, all of them seem urgent. But…

…if we do not listen to people when they have our ear, we will automatically send them the message that says, “I honestly, don’t really care that much about you as a person, because all of these other things are more important.”
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The more trust you build with people, the greater return you’ll have for your work, because more people will be behind you, so that email and that text message, unless it’s your mom calling for more oxygen, it can probably wait. 

Learn

The best kind of leaders have captured the art of becoming top of the line learners. They understand that even those under them have something to teach them. Until we start treating people with this kind of value, the sharpest folks will find other places to use their giftings. They’ll land in a ministry where they feel valued, heard and employed. 

The post What Grandma Taught Me about Leadership appeared first on Ministry Architects.

Instead, as girls turned the ball over, made bad passes and missed easy buckets he’d be on the sidelines clapping, saying, “You’re doing great girls, keep it up. You’re going to get there!” Were we bad? You better believe it, but did the girls start to have fun, trust their coach and believe in themselves? They sure did. Within a couple of years, the team went from winning almost no games to having a winning record. It was remarkable, and it started with one coach who was willing to celebrate the wins, even when it seemed like we had none. 

The kids who stopped coming, the leaders who show up late, the frustrating parent who doesn’t support you and that outreach event that was a real flop.

It’s easy to focus on everything that’s going wrong in youth ministry, isn’t it? Yet, within all of these moments, there’s most likely is a silver lining if you’re willing to look for it.
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If there’s a climate of negativity in your youth ministry, just like the coach I worked under, you can turn the tide if you’re willing to lead the way. 

Here’s some different ways to approach your youth ministry so you can start celebrating the wins.

1. When you’re at youth group, don’t complain about the kids who aren’t there, celebrate the ones who are with you. 
2. When others are complaining about how something didn’t go well, look for ways to celebrate something small within it and focus on that. 
3. Change your vocabulary.  Instead of addressing “problems” with someone, start using words like, “opportunities,” instead. View them not as a problem, but, instead start tackling those conversations as opportunities for growth. 
4. Kill that negative Nancy attitude that’s in your youth ministry. Be the encourager your leaders need, the advocate parents are looking for, and the cheerleader your students need to encourage them in their walk with Jesus.
5. Find a few cheerleaders of your own. Invite others to pray for you and your ministry.  Share with them your desire to start celebrating the wins to turn the tide in your youth ministry setting. 

The post Celebrate the Wins appeared first on Ministry Architects.

As I stumbled across this scene I envisioned a young teenage girl flying out of her seat as she was being pushed at mock speed by a young, growing teenage boy. As she goes flying through the air she lands, not softly on the ground, but instead breaking her wrist or bruising herself badly from the early morning race through the hallways. Then, I thought, and I’ll be the one making the phone call to mom and dad.  I’ll have to explain what happened, and why, under my leadership, I allowed for it. 

As you can imagine, I quickly shut the race down. Now the engines that were firing at full speed were being pulled back into the parking garage.  The students, of course, weren’t happy, because in their mind, I had killed their fun. Little did they know, I was protecting them and the integrity of the youth ministry. 

Here’s the thing about parents, they won’t send their child somewhere If they believe their child won’t be well taken of or kept safe.
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If their child is being bullied or constantly put in situations that harm their physical safety, you can almost guarantee that parent will find a new youth group for their child to be part of. 

Sure, I get it, some things are unavoidable, like the time a junior high girl stepped on an old rusty nail in her bare feet at summer camp and we had to take her to the urgent care clinic. Parents understand that accidents are going to happen. But, how cognizant are we of this great need that parents have to know that their kids are safe?

Parents can be your biggest advocate. If they know that you’re going to love their child, take good care of them and create a safe place for them, then they’re going to trust you.

Trust, with parents, in youth ministry, is everything.
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If creating a safe environment for your students hasn’t been on your top priority list, consider making a shift in your leadership. Trust me, it will only benefit you, your students and your longevity in youth ministry.

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Communication is so important. Keeping an open heart and mind, not allowing negativity to fuel your relationship with the other person is key to keeping harmony within the relationship. Unfortunately, more often than not, our own personal fears and insecurities play themselves into how we deal with our work relationships. Sadly, this is even true in the church.

Does your Senior Pastor have a strong personality, and you’re afraid of conflict? That’s a quick recipe for disaster. Does your supervisor have unrealistic expectations of what your calendar should look like? Chances are, if that’s the case, you won’t stick around very long.

Workplace harmony within the church is rare, but it is key to a flourishing ministry setting.  Without good, honest, and sometimes hard communication among staff members, the leadership will suffer, and things will eventually break down.  Either someone’s feelings are going to get hurt, or it may get so bad that the only option is to leave.

How can we keep our ministry settings healthy so that we don’t get to that point?

1. I can’t stress this one enough. When in doubt, communicate and then communicate some more.
2. Be humble. Be the first one to ask for forgiveness and create a place where you can talk openly about ways that you feel hurt or misunderstood by the other person.
3. Become a great listener. A lot of our problems arise because we just don’t listen well. We’re quick to try and fix the other person, insert our spiritual wisdom or interject our point. Instead, we need to learn how to really hear people well.
4. Create an atmosphere where it’s OK and acceptable to be human; with struggles, brokenness and pain. I think sometimes in church leadership culture we’re not sure what to do with brokenness. Wrongfully, we make church leaders into people that are somehow without sin and struggles. We must remember that we’re not superhuman. We’re just people and sometimes, we struggle.  We must be willing to walk alongside each other on a church staff when a crisis hits.
5. Foster an atmosphere of grace. Create a place where it’s ok to mess up. That is one of the things I love about working at Ministry Architects. I am constantly amazed by the amount of grace I receive from the people I work with. Although I don’t always get it right, my friends at Ministry Architects are always cheering me on with a tremendous amount of support. Without grace, we cannot survive long in the ministry settings we find ourselves in.

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When I was a kid my dad always told me, “Heather, money doesn’t grow on trees.” I wish my dad’s statement wasn’t true, because if it wasn’t, I’d ask for a youth ministry money tree this year for Christmas. If you know my dad, he is a very hard-working man. Every dollar to him mattered. To him, it wasn’t a dollar to waste, but one to steward well. You and I are in a similar situation, wanting to be good stewards of our youth ministry budget, but also getting really tired of all the fundraisers we have to do just to keep the ship running at full speed.

Here’s a few tips to keep things running smoothly (dad approved) without taxing your budget.

1. Contact local businesses to see if they can offer free things for outreach events. I can’t tell you how many free slurpees, ice cream cones and hamburgers I’ve gotten from doing this.
2. Do your research before you buy. Some businesses look to get rid of nearly brand-new stuff. I used to get day old donuts for free from the local grocery store and Panera Bread too. They give all their bagels and breads away for free at the end of each day. All it takes is a phone call and a quick ask. Other places are looking to sell nearly new furniture, too, for next to nothing.
3. Utilize your congregation. Does anyone own a business, work for the school or have a heart to go above and beyond? Keeping things within your budget is all about playing it smart. Building relationships and making connections with your church congregation brings people on your side. You’ll find more often than not, as long as you’re not just using them for free stuff, people will be quick to come alongside of you. I’ve gotten buses, hundreds of apples, trailers, tons of food, and school gyms all for free or nearly nothing thanks to this approach.
4. Find fun things to do that don’t tax your budget. Bringing in Lecrae for your next big youth event would be cool, but is it necessary? What about a local Christian band the kids love or something as simple as a dodgeball tournament or movie night? Kids care more about the relationships that are being formed than they do about the thing they’re doing.

Before you fire up the engines for the next spaghetti dinner, think about applying some of these principles if you’re looking to become a budget savvy youth ministry.

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I remember as a kid how much I wrestled with what I would be for Halloween. Whatever costume I chose had to be the perfect fit. It had to fit my personality and no ordinary costume would do.

Minnie Mouse? No.

Superwoman? Eh, maybe.

A giant whoopee cushion? Yes, yes, that’s the one.

Searching for the right hire at our churches really matters too. We’re looking for someone who fits the DNA and culture of our church. No ordinary hire will do.

Here are some common pitfalls churches stumble into when they’re looking for the perfect hire.

1. The Anxious Hire. They get anxious, so they fill the need quickly instead of dealing with the tension of having a vacancy.
2. The Super Star Hire. They look for a super star personality instead of someone who would be a great fit for their church.
3. The S.O.S. Hire. They might be hiring with the expectation that this person is going to save their ministry. That’s way too much pressure to put on someone and they’re sure to crumble under the weight of it.

Here are some good practices to try out when searching for the right hire.

1. Take your time. It typically takes a number of months to find the right hire. Wait, pray and pray some more as you sift through resume and interviews.
2. Listen to the heart of your church. How will you know who the right hire is if you don’t know what the desires of your church body are? Take time to create space for people to share their dreams and desires for the next hire. Give them space to share about the things they love about the church. Finding someone who fits the church culture is imperative to their longevity at your church.
3. Gather a team of trusted people. One of the worst things that can happen is making decisions in isolation. The more trusted people involved in a big decision, the better. Make sure to recruit people with wisdom. Folks who desire unity. Leave the complainers out.
4. Set Realistic Expectations. Don’t expect your hire to save the day or turn the ship of a sinking ministry on their own. Set realistic expectations and set healthy boundaries for your hire. Give them the space to thrive and keep their priorities in order.
5. Did I Say Take Your Time? Don’t give into anxiety. Trust in God’s provision and wait for His hand to move and provide the next great hire for your church.

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There is one thing I’ve noticed about kids; they don’t really care how many others are there, as long as they know they are loved and valued by someone in the room. A youth ministry centered on negativity will have a toxic climate.  It will be difficult to grow past that, but youth ministries that celebrate even what seems like a total failure, will find joy in serving young people, because love is what drives them.

Ask yourself these all too important questions:

1. Is my youth ministry surrounded by positive stories or negative ones?
2. How is my attitude either positively or negatively affecting my ministry?
3. How do I handle a negative/toxic attitude in one of my leaders or students?
4. If nearly all of your kids were gone one night, how would you respond?

How you answer those questions deeply affects what kind of climate you create at your youth ministry. That’s right, the climate YOU create. You set the tone by how you lead, navigate negativity in leaders and students, and deal with what seems like disappointment. Learn to celebrate even what seems like a total failure, like six kids showing up at youth group or an outreach event that drew only a handful of kids. Sure, do some smart evaluation as to why only a few kids showed up, but don’t let negativity steal the joy that could be had for you and your students.

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Our growth in ministry is a lot like my preparation to hit my goal of  bench pressing those two 45 pound plates. The reason it took me a number of weeks was because in order for my strength to grow, I had to give my muscles ample rest. Without sufficient rest I would over exhaust the muscle, which actually puts my muscles in what’s called a catabolic stage.  This is the opposite of what I wanted to have happen.

I would like to suggest that many of our lives and ministries are in a catabolic stage, because we are not giving our lives the proper amount of rest. I’m not talking about the grab a bowl of popcorn, throw up your feet and watch 14 hours of Netflix kind of rest that’s just laziness. I’m talking about the life giving rest that is found in being with the Father.  Imagine with me for a moment that God’s Word is like the nutrition that feeds our body during those seasons of rest to help us grow. Naturally, as I trained properly for my goal of maxing out at 135 pounds, my muscles grew. The same happens when you and I take a step back and make rest, Scripture reading and prayer a part of our daily routine.

The book of Isaiah says this, “In returning and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and trust shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15). As ministry workers, we cannot thrive without rest. This past summer I learned an acronym that I have found to be very helpful when it comes to incorporating rest into my life. It’s a simple acronym taken from the word, “selah.”  This is a Hebrew word that means to pause or give praise.

The acronym looks a little something like this.

Stop

Exhale

Listen

Ask

Hear

Stop what you’re doing, quiet your soul before the Lord. Exhale in stillness before Him. Listen to what He’s trying to speak to your heart. Ask Him what He desires most from you and Hear His words in the quietness of sitting in His presence.

Once you start incorporating more SELAH into your life, you’ll find that you’re able to give more towards your ministry, because God has poured His goodness into your life.

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It took me awhile, but I finally got off my high horse thanks to some friends of mine who weren’t afraid to speak some hard truths into my life. They said, “Heather, you’re biggest concern is your image. Kids feel like your unapproachable, because you aren’t authentic.  You care more about programs then people.” 

Ouch, they were right. I had to humble myself in that moment and choose a new perspective on how to do youth ministry. Now, four years later after this confrontation with some trusted friends of mine the ministry has reached a point where we’ve grown in life changing ways. 

You see, truth is, if a kid knows you care, it doesn’t matter how good your program is, because if they know they are loved, they’ll keep coming back. A kid can see right through an individual who cares more about the number they are in the seat, than the person they are deep down inside. The kids who enter through the doors of our youth ministry are longing to be known, accepted and loved. It’s when we make a conscience choice to stop running after our own egos and start caring about the individual that our ministries start to grow in making true disciples of Christ. C.S. Lewis says, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less often.”

Now that I’ve stepped away from obsessing about the numbers, God has been blessing our ministry with even more fruit than before and believe it or not, our numbers are growing too. 

Here’s some questions to ask yourself to find out if you’re on the right track:

1. When someone asks you about how things are going in the youth ministry, what’s the first thing you tell them about? How many kids are coming or what God is doing in the lives of the kids that are coming?
2. When you have an outreach event what is your goal? To get as many kids as you can or to make connections with the kids that do come and have excellent follow up to get them plugged into the church after the event?
3. How do you define success? A big youth group or investing your life, energy and heart into a few students with results you might not see for years?

If you want to get some ooh’s and aah’s from the church congregation, go ahead and tote the numbers, but if you really want to create a ministry that will has a lasting impact on the kids who come into your ministry, start by humbling yourself. Then, start pouring your life into a few, creating an atmosphere of Christ-like love. God gets behind ministers like that and when He gets behind something His power and grace makes things grow.

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